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Kosovo Dream

I wasn't sure whether I was in the Kosovo Liberation Army or the Serbian army, but a group of my comrades and I were hiding out in an abandoned apartment building in Pristina. A long way below us, in what I supposed must have been a municipal park before the NATO bombing, were a dozen or so people who were of the opposing side -- but, like I said, I don't know whether they would have been Serbs or Kosovars. Our inspired plan was to shoot them from where we were, thus lessening the chances of being shot ourselves. Happily for us, we had excellent telescopic sights.

I leaned on the window frame, took aim and shot one of the soldiers. Unfortunately, my rifle was spotted and, through the sight, I watched as the other soldiers pointed up at our window and started running towards the building. Oh no! I was in really big trouble! Heroically abandoning my comrades, I rushed out of the flat and ran up the stairs, thinking that I would hide in another flat until the heat died down. But wait! One of the enemy soldiers had already reached the floor that I was on! Thinking how brilliant he must be at climbing stairs, I tried to arrange myself and my rifle so that I could shoot him, but he was faster than me and would undoubtedly have killed me stone dead if I hadn't stopped the dream at that point.

Notes for Freudian Analysis

Need I point out that I don't think that hiding out and shooting people is an admirable thing to do? Especially if you haven't been introduced or, indeed, are aware of what side of any particular argument any of you is on.

The day before I had this dream, I had read that a former Macedonian minister had admitted that he had arranged for a group of Pakistani illegal immigrants to be shot and for evidence to be falsified to make it appear that they were al-Qa'ida terrorists. Having realised while reading the article that I really don't know much about anything in former Yugoslavia, I downloaded a massive pdf document on Kosovo but I was slightly saddened to find that I couldn't be bothered to read it.

Reprisal Attacks

I dreamed I was on holiday in Europe, having quite a good time. Walking through a short concrete underpass that was lit by the intense sunlight streaming in from either side, I noticed that Howard Jacobson, the author and columnist, and his family were also walking through the tunnel. For some reason, I decided to mock him for his support of the invasion of Iraq, telling him that he must really regret it now that the occupation has turned into such a disaster. I walked out of the tunnel, victorious, and got on with the rest of my day. I win again!

Returning to the house that I was living in -- one of three wooden houses in a sunny pine forest -- I was dismayed to see that someone had set fire to it. Jacobson had done this! I was sure of it! I called my friend Jeremy Nelson, who owned the house, to warn him that Jacobson might strike again, but it was too late. Jeremy, in a panic, told me that Jacobson had gone on a crazed arson spree and had burned down almost everything in Jeremy's town.

Notes for Freudian Analysis

What is Howard Jacobson doing in this dream? I have no idea what he thought about the invasion of Iraq. Whenever I've read him -- not often -- he has seemed to be mostly concerned with the fact that he is Jewish. Apart from that, I'd say that I associate him with the sort of establishment broadsheet columnists who depress me whenever I find myself reading them and who are generally in favour of blowing poor people to bits, although for strictly compassionate and humanitarian reasons. David Aaronovitch, who I identified as the source of a dream that I had on May 19th, is also of that sort. And is also Jewish. Hmm.

I should point out that I would disapprove strongly of anyone who jeered at some poor hack who was out for a stroll with his family. What do you take me for?

The other day, it occurred to me that I should phone Jeremy as I haven't seen him for months even though I should have congratulated him when I found out his wife was pregnant. (If you're reading this, Jeremy, congratulations!) Jeremy is also Jewish, now I think about it. Why would I dream about a Jewish writer punishing a Jewish IT guy for my rudeness?